Changes..

Every now and then, I look for a change. Not because I need the change, but it just happened.
I mean, it might seems like I'm looking for a change, like I'm running from something....every change I made, it doesn't seems like a normal logical choice. Well, not when I was in school ....that's pretty much standard really, I didn't try to change...I just tried to fit in. Ask the Musketeers and they may tell you that Mei Har had changed since Form 1. Not drastically, but something had definitely change......

It all started with my first job. After you graduated with an Accounting qualification, the automatic thing to do is to get into the Big 4.....and I got the offer(s) and of course, I logically chose the more prestigious one among those that offered. And it was hell....but bearable, really...its nothing drastic. Its not like my boss locked me up in my room and make we work all day. Well, whatever that happened then, i've talked about it like a million times.....at least, i think the Musketeers must have heard about it for a million time......and I dont' want to say much. Everyone was shocked that I left the firm, and yea, HR was shocked too...coz I resigned on the day I'm supposed to collect my confirmation letter!! Immediately I was ushered into exit interviews with all the big shots, that I might not even talk to, maybe until i was at least 2-3 years with the firm. So, moral of the story? If you want to be visible, resign on the day you are supposed to be confirm...that'll keep HR busy...

And I think the worse think that the HR people can't understand is, I left them for a medium firm. LOL.....

And so, I began a journey of audit, without databases, audit programs, IBM notebooks and without much training and support from the likes of the Big 4. But I was given personal attention, coached on the basics and the best thing is the interaction. We work as a team, we discussed how things should go......regardless whether you are a kid or you are a 10-year-old manager. The partner of that firm, is a white hair guy...who talks really loud....you can hear his phone conversation as he walks up to the 2nd Floor of the office....and you know Roger has arrived!~ He's always there to offer us his words of wisdom.....and if you have crap handwriting, trust me...he'll make sure you write nicely. These are small things....but it gave an impact to my life. Being able to walk in to my boss room, plop my fat butt down on the chair and start ranting about the situation at hand....and start to brainstorm. I like the interaction...and I would like to think I'm doing well....at least, the remuneration part seems to be doing well for me ... :)

And then I wanted to move on. Something in me, is saying...move..move move......you are getting comfortable here. Stay, and for the next 10 years, you'll be doing the same thing.....

And I did. And I get supports from God....or I think so. Hahahaha...I'll always remember this. I was on holiday with a few of colleagues in Hong Kong and we are at this temple called Wong Tai Sin. There you can grab the bamboo container and start to shake it until you get this stick with a no. and grab a piece of paper, bearing a story or saying that the no. is tagged to. There's a lot of stalls outside, where soothsayers are available. They'll then tell you what your piece of paper says. I ask whether I should change my job, because I'm actually quite contended with my current one, but there's better opportunity. He say yea..I should and i'll do great.

Honestly, that was about the one thing that help me decide. While others might disagree...i think its faith and I left it randomly to chance. Aside from career....I ask stuff on love and health....its kinda fun, and yea, so i think in total, I did the whole process for about 3 times, and see about 3 different soothsayers for each occasions.
:)

And that's when I start my journey with PwC. A turning point for me....it was here I met these incredible people from Sunway Team....and my life had changed. I began to find it difficult to have time for myself, because if I'm not working 16-18 hours a day, I'll be spending time with my colleagues. My only family time is Sunday...which i try to keep it free, because Bakuteh with my parents are not something i'll miss....it became the only time where I get to catch up with everyone on what had happened during week. But still, I enjoy it....and my life was filled with activities.....I was tired, but I was happy.

Until, I was working between 2 assignments at a same time, and catching hardly 3 hours sleep a day, I was literally a zombie. I'll drive up curbs...coz I was dozing off when i was driving...and telling my then-boss has no effect, he can't help..coz his hands are tied , he has to keep the recovery healthy, and hence we can't get extra help that we need. And of course, the worst decision that I've ever made was to go for a post-audit dinner even though I was dead tired, knowing well that alcohol will be involved. But I can't really skip that coz I organised the dinner myself!! And Pat was having a rough time that day (Pat is the Exec. Director of that job), and we decided to adjourned at a Jap Bar to continue our rantings....and that's were I drank a bit more than I should.

Close friends will know that I never or hardly let myself get drunk, unless its with the Musketeers and we are either drinking at one of our house, or a secure apartment that we rented just so we can chilled and stay safe. Or if I don't think I can drive, I'll always call James to drive....but that night, I think , are just meant to be. James was out of town, I was dead tired, and it had to rain.....and yea, so I crashed my car...and got myself hurt in the course of doing that. OF course, if you dare ask me why I go crash my car.....I'll tell you that its not intentional...else it wouldn't be called an accident, wouldn't it?? *moron* Anyway, I was in shock, I was scared (even though I was all macho about it), and I tried to be as normal as I can. My parents are cool...but i guess, they are as frightened as I am...and all in all, we stuck together and are all just glad that I'm alive and was literally unscratched except for stitches at the back of my head.


And CHANGE comes again. I feel like I have to do things....because, a silly decision might just get me killed. If I don't do what I want to do now....I might not be doing it...coz who knows, I might not exist tomorrow. [Someone, please play Ronan Keating's "If tomorrow nevers come"]

And after talks with Pat (he's my mentor in the firm), after assessing the situation ....I know working at such crazy hours are not the answer...no matter how much satisfaction I get from the job. Also, other things contributed to the decision to leave PwC.......crap job, severe shortage of staff resulting in everyone shouldering more than they could, and the challenging clients that's just not reasonable.....

And so I left with a heavy heart......another change.

I took a trip to Phuket. With...hear me, Mr.Chin and brothers...who are the most hilarious bunch that I've ever met.....they are such gentlemen, that for once, I think I don't mind being a lady and do the damsel in distress thing. Coz, they'll gallantly take all these in their stride...like a man!! Well, all I know is that Huay Yin, Leng Yeing and myself enjoyed the trip......and their company more than anything!

So, I left PwC....left audit and join Corp Finance, doing IPOs. Not something foreign, I've dealed with that during my time with the medium firm, but compliance rules has changed since then, and there are lots of admin stuff that I need to familiarise with. Colleagues, once again are great! I already have Huay Yin there....Kaggom who's always helpful and nice, the very cultured and suave Gavin, and Gillian, who's superbly hilarious in her own way, shy and sweet Vee Han, cute lil' ah Boy, and Din, the foodie....and the best boss ever, Jo. I couldnt' be more happy, and only that the feeling that something is missing stuck within me.

So, after months of deep thoughts.....I decide to move again.

Yes, I can move to another company....I can go back to PwC and demand reasonable hours and better pay. Or I can move to another state.....but I chose to move out of the Country....with no particular reference in mind. Ken asked me to move to London....we can start all over again and all, but i don't have a nice feeling about that. JJ thinks its not wise either.....its been awhile since the thing with Ken and I was over...and there's no reason to start again. He's perfect, but to be honest, I don't think I missed having him around....I'm so used to doing things my own. That's the Musketeer's way.....sometimes, i think we are so stubborn in wanting to be independent, that we come across as unfriendly, and not approachable.

Yea, so there's this debate with Ken...why of all place, I chose adelaide/auckland. First, these are the only 2 decent offers that I get...and Adelaide coz I'll have JJ and Elaine. They are people that I can relate to, and I can be myself when i'm with them. Yea, so leaving my family, my dog, my friends, my Musketeers...and forgoing a chance to start again with Ken (which I think is really a cool guy), is a drastic move.

But I'm determine to do it........without knowing why. I don't know what's installed for me...I don't know how people function in Adelaide.....in fact, I never lived in Australia, except for the month long holiday i had when i was visiting the Musketeers. And I'm still wondering why I did it..........

I guess, its just the season of change...and its time for me to embrace another change.....

[to be continued]