Strength

As a woman, we are always referred to as the weaker sex
But God knows, what we are capable of enduring
That's strength

Well, that's the positive note.

Had an awesome session with Olya this morning. Never in this lifetime of mine, i would imagine I am able to complete today's set. My arms.....before this, I have zero arm strength. I once has chronic muscle pain - just because I was holding too tight on the bicycle handles while zipping through the streets of Beijing with fear. Lol...and my arms hurt for days after that.

Today....i think I can handle the monkey bars and held on for at least 30 seconds. Trust me..if you know how much I weigh....its heavy.

Not much movement in terms of my weight....but I feel so much healthier,so much more stronger. I hope i don't slip up and lose the momentum. I love this feeling. Perhaps this is the other element, of feeling beautiful from within - because I feel healthy? Felt unstoppable - i'm kind and i'm strong , i'm also beautiful within - feels so awesome!! #selflove

Need to keep this up. This year and next year...it gotta to be about treating myself well. Sorry friends...its about time I put myself first. Sometimes my inane need to be nice to people....are not very good for myself. If its not life and  death...its probably not wrong to put myself first. I NEED TO BE STRONG...TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF OTHERS - Body, Mind and Soul.

Did I mention that focusing in improving my fitness also takes me away from dwelling in the hopeless "matters of hearts" that I'm stuck with? Embracing the whole thing was hard...but i am determined not to be bitter about it. Am strong enough ( God, please give me the wisdom and strength!!!) to be an adult about this. If you truly love someone, you'll want that person to be happy. Being able to accept that....will be the first step to letting go. Lol, that's actually the teaching of Buddha....but what the hell, its a good thing....and all religions are meant to make Human a better person ( for we have all sinned).

~ Mh crazy rant coz she's aching all over, and its 4.30am and can't get back to sleep ~ And I'm missing him too. So I guess that contributes to the insomnia as well ~
#iammyowntherapist