Idiotic ramblings....

Its either I'm still having a hangover from the treasure hunt or I'm just plain depressed...
Went back to office this morning after the marathon of travelling between Singapore and Penang over the past 4 days (will update on this soon) and reality hits hard...

Aaron's last day is approaching soon.....will miss him loads...especially his cheeky winks and his cute face...:P

Peggy will be leaving too...

And Daniel too....gosh..and he's one of the nicest guy among my batchmates...

Mahesh...though he's a pain most of the time, I think I'll miss teasing and annoying him...

Suddenly, working in the firm seems so lonely. These people who had work with me for the past 2 years will be leaving and I can't help but feel a bit sad....

It just struck me...when Nicholas say he feel so alone working now. All his buddies gone...and it only struck me on my way driving home....when I have time to think, that I'm too...stuck here alone. Of course there are others left like Shane, Elaine, Leng Yeing, Tan Yee, ......

but it won't be the same again......

It just makes the time we get to spend together more and more precious....sob! Even lunch at Chicken Rice Shop today seems much more fun and warm....

And work had been crap today. Felt so "used" and being "cheated" for retracting my leave to helped out at my current assignment. Its really different from what that has been promised...and to make it worst, my manager felt no remorse for "tricking" me into this....apparently, this is how life is..and I have to deal with it.

I don't even know what to write since I'm so confused now......there's this sad feeling that refuse to leave me alone........and I seriously don't know what to do about it.

Sigh....

signing off...still feeling depressed, sad...and miserable.

If I'm praying, this will be my prayer tonight :

God, please let me dream of a vacation, me and all the people I love in a lovely island, sipping coconut water....chatting idly about life and the good times....Let me feel the sea breeze, let me feel the love and let me be my bubbly self when I wake up tomorrow.....coz I bloody feel like crying now. Sorry that I sweared....but its necessary in this case!

nite nite

Emotional outlet....on work!

It is very demotivating to know that after working for 15-hour on a daily basis, and when you ended up with an accident, you have comments from your bosses such as :

1) Why does she had to crash her car now?
This is probably out of exasperation as he/she will need to follow up on my
leftover work, but definitely the most unkind remarks of all...

2) When can you come back to work?
In a working environment, where no one is irreplacable, I don't see why it
matters when I can come back to work matters...And to say this immediately when I
called to inform you on my MC, it is very rude and ...i don't even know the word
to describe it.

3) She sound alright to me, do you think she can work ?\
Someone told me about this remark. At the moment when I heard this, I feel like
resigning as there is no meaning anymore to work in such an inhumane environment.
Just because I called and speak at hours when I'm most alert, does it mean that
I'm supposed to go back to work when I'm given a week worth of sick leave?

I thought after working for 75% of the day with a team, 24/7, some sort of bond would have been forged and an alliance formed. But hearing such remarks when I needed comfort most, was almost heart-breaking sad...from a boss that I thought were sincerely nice.

It makes me think, why should I work so hard for these people ? They don't even care if you died..as long as the job is done, they don't care about anything else. It make me feel that these so called bosses are so cold!

Emotions are not supposed to be a featured-factor when it comes to work, but being so cold towards the welfare of a staff.....I don't know! Somehow, I managed to clear coaching notes, draft some handover notes on the outstanding matters and etc when doctor's orders was to rest well....

A surge of self pity just overcome my feelings, as I typed with one swollen right hand, while my whole body aches with every moves I've made. And instead of a word of appreciation, the feedback I get was ? "Why does she had to crash her car now ?"

How sad! I had to say that I'm very dissappointed....

It shows me that who within my working mates are true friends and who are those that wanted nothing, but my labour input to the job....you know, just like how a farmer wanted a cow to plough the field.....

It is because of people like that, that'll make an employee feel like a cow working his life away!

To my bosses who appreciate my effort and commitment, you deserve the respect and you earned it. A toast to all the good bosses = FW, YW, YCk, PSuan ! Thanks for being true and honest....it helps with one's developement! Critism is good when it is meant to help one to improve, not to condemn the person!


To my colleagues who cares, it makes me appreciate my life and you guys more than ever!

The Dip, a book by Seth Godin

Was contemplating life while I'm on a break....with a sudden abundance of "free" time, uninterupted by calls from managers/colleagues, I have the time of the world to contemplate life.

Its been a while since I've read the monthly digest called Accounting & Business, delivered to my doorstep. For April 2007 issue, they had written a review of a book entitled "The Dip" by Seth Godin.

The book tells you when its the right time to quit....and when to keep going on. The book contain the following quotes :

1) "Extraodinary benefits accrue to the tiny majority of people who are able to push just a tiny bit longer than most", but "Extraordinary benefits also accrue to the tiny majority with the guts to quit early and refocus their efforts on something new"

2)Godin, the writer is the enemy of muddling through, making do , and coping. It should make you think, if I can't do the best here, I should move on to something that I can make a success of?

3)Godin further comes up with the theory : "To do ordinary, blameless work, work that's beyond reproach. When faced with the dip most people "suck it up" and try to average their way to success. Which is precisely why so few people end up the best in the world....The problem with coping, is that it never leads to exceptional performance!" If the best you can do is coping, you are better off quitting!


Well...that gave a clear view of my life at the moment.....so I need to look carefully and see whether I'm coping or moving up as I should be ?

We'll see soon!