Uncertainties and Hope

In the search of the perfect job, perfect career - I've been through numerous interviews. Without fail, almost each one of them came with the question, where does your passion lies, what do you want to be in 5 years time, what is your objective and so on. Its like "Hey there, tell me what you want ?"

Its crazy......who in the world can know what will happen in 5 years time ? Things changes like in 5 seconds...what were they thinking asking that questions ? Seriously, real life example here - I had planned for a trip to Istanbul late 2012 for Sept 2013's departure - and hey, its 2013, guess what - there's unrest in Turkey...so, ask me again here - where do I want to be in 5 years time ? My only answer to that is, I hope to be able to think on my feet, be agile and be brave - so I can take on whatever the job/world is throwing at me...

As for in life - what do I want ? Honestly, with so many uncertainties in the current climate/society or this world in general - the best bet , is to do your best and hope for the best. But if I can wish for anything in the world, I'll like to find this person - the fabled soul mate that has been elusive all these while........

Over the years, I almost had given up hope. I thought I almost found one, but that was the closest I ever get to it and it didn't quite work out. That was a LONG time ago...and since then, it has been emptiness for a long time. While its good to be able to get on with life on my own, finding support and comfort within the embraces of friends and family, there's always this hope that one day, the elusive dude who is supposed to be by myside, will one day appear - well, hopefully before I am old and wrinkly and ready to bid the world goodbye. Yup..such morbid thoughts on a Sunday night....

But you know what, watching Season 4 of My Kitchen Rules, I follow the ups and downs of Kerrie and Craig....and the more I watched them, the more I am convinced that there is this thing called soulmate in this world. Perhaps, the lores and stories of the nether years - are true....God did plan for each of us to have the other half to make us complete , eh ? They gave me hope, they gave me the confident that you can find a partner that is your bestfriend, your sweetheart and that someone who knows and love you for who you are.

So....I pray now , I will wake up tomorrow, stay positive and may the Law of Attraction work - coz I am so focusing my energy on the objective of my life - finding that soulmate out there!! Willing him to come into my circle, willing for the magic to happen. With your soulmate by yourside, there's no need to be scare - because whatever comes - there's always that someone there that have you back!

Have you ever?

Have you ever asked, to love or to be loved?
Which would you prefer?

And how do you quantify the amount of love? You might feel blessed, and feel love by the little things he do, but he might feel that its really nothing...he want to do more, or vice versa.

Or what if it comes to a stage, when either one of you don't care anymore? Is that the end?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
-Have you ever, by Brandy-

If it as bad as how the lyrics say, why bother? Won't you be a better person without such burden...? But wait, have you ever consider it a burden, or is it what you thought, a labour of love?


All I want is someone
That could hold me down
That's gon be around
When I need him
Giving me that real love
Cause that's what he's about
Someone to ride with me
That's what I need.

I need someone whose sensitive but still thug
Someone who throws down but still knows how to show love
A real man, understanding but demanding
So proud but faithful to me
I need to feel like theres someone I could run to
He gives me more of his time then he's got to
Gives me my space when I gotta go and do me
Supports what ever makes me happy
I've had enough, its like a drug.
I can't give up, I'm feenin'
I'm in his plans, my superman, my baby
- What I Need, by Jeannie Ortega-

So what if you can't find the right person....what if The One remains elusive? Have you thought of that? Or worse still, he doesn't exist....... Have you ever give that a thought? If it is so, why bother searching......if fate plays a part, shouldn't we just let things be? Sooner or later, things will fall into place, won't it?


I'd like to run away
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~


The irony of life, have you ever say things that you don't mean it? Tell him you hate him, but when you like him? Have you ever wonder why both of you are such idiots?

He ask " I'm crazy, I'm mad, why do you love me? "
She says " Maybe I'm stupid, maybe I'm an idiot, maybe ...that's why I love you? Maybe I just don't care and want to be a fool , and its just too painful to lose you"
~Unknown origin~

Really, have you ever wonder , What is love?

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own
- excerpts from Chasing Cars, by Snow Patrol-



- MH more confused than before-

And they say women are devious....

James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : You know, I think this girl in office have something for me..
Me : Really !! (Eyes wide with disbelief)....

*smack* I got a slap on the back by James

Me : Hey! I mean who will want you ??? You are such a jerk....
James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : Cos I've a reputation of a good guy at work ? (wide smirk on his face)
Me: It figures...(*shaking my head*), if not being serious, foul-mouthed and evil is the definition of a good guy...Anyway, what makes you think she likes you?

James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : Well, she bought me sandwiches for dinner, since I worked late...and she listens to me talking crap ...and of course, I took the opportunity to make myself sound as pitiful as possible....(he showed me his puppy-eyed look...)

James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : Anyway, I told her that I was dumped by my gf last week, that's why I'm so into work....wanted to forget about the sorrow...and BINGO!! She immediately applied to be my guardian angel......I tell you, this is one sure-fire trick.....

Me : That's quite bad..if you don't like her...for real. Sometimes, I just hate you ....

James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : Hey..how do you know that I won't like her for REAL? I mean, she's quite hot, you know....but a bit gullible. And I like it....hahaha....its good...

Me : hmmm...well, we'll see how gullible. At this age, I don't really know much women who will fall for you kinda trick...its pretty obvious you are teasing her, hoping she'll make the first move.....and it sorta ruined the "romantic" factor....I mean , you are the guy..you should do it lar.......loser!

James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : Well, sometimes it feels good to be pursued, rather than pursuing all the time...Its not really nice getting rejected, you know....

Me : I know...

James The Hot Guy (Not!!!) : I don't know if it works for girls, but for us guys, strutting around like we are boss works sometimes...coz girls have these "damsel-in-distress" syndrome...they need some masculinity in their life.....but I don't see how you can turn it around if you want to get a guy...wahahahaha...

James earned a kick from me, since I can't slap him...my arm achES

James came up with more devious plan on how to get May (the colleague) to ask him out on a dinner date...... which includes the following :

• conscientiously sent her blogs of dinner places he wanted to go


• Mentionitis = continuously mention about the dinner place and date and time where he is free (he's quite sure she has no one asking her out, so she'll be free anyday)


• tell her that he's dying to eat with her....but he strike this out, coz he thinks its equivalent of asking her out


• pretend that he got stood up by his buddies for dinner


• last resort, he'll try his puppy-eyed look again.....

I'm amazed actually that James would stoop that low (hahha..he'll prolly kill me for saying this) just to get the girl to ask him out....and he complains that we girls always pretended to be dumb and naive just to get a guy interested.

I'm suprise that even guys can be devious....hmph...

I don't know if James will love the girl, its too early to tell....but he generally loves hanging out with girls...so it will be easy for him....

And that's how my night is spent....talking random stuff!